Being an Asian American, I think it makes it even more difficult to talk about mental illnesses because of our traditional cultures, how we are raised, the model minority myth, or just in general not being taught to talk about our feelings. I know most Asian families don’t believe in mental illnesses, or they’re in denial, or uneducated about it, or there are families who don’t believe we need medications. There’s so much stigma around mental illnesses, or Asians feeling ashamed that they need to hide it and stay silent.
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As long as he lived, he never knew we actually did have something in common. We both had bipolar disorder.
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I have struggled with anxiety and depression for last couple of years. I am at a much better place now and have learnt and continue to learn better ways to cope with it.
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My experience with depression and bipolar disorder first started at the age of 15 when I was a freshman in high school. Around that time I first started to experience suicidal thoughts.
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On March 3rd, 2014, I made a decision that would change my life forever.
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I was just entering my Freshman year of high school and I was homeschooled at the time (it was a brief four month stint. I won’t get into it).
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On July 26, 2013, I woke up around 6:30am. I was tossing and turning and the whole room was spinning! I kept running to the bathroom across the hall because I felt I was going to be sick to my stomach but nothing would happen.
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I have had depression the majority of my life starting at ten years old.
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I've always known that something wasn't quite right with the way my brain functioned.
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My experience with mental illness really started around my freshman year of high school around thirteen years old.
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I have PTSD from a childhood trauma that I have never really dealt with. As a result, I experience severe flashback, depression, and anxiety. In addition, I also struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder.
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My experience with mental illness started January 2016. I didn't realize that I was suffering from depression until my family brought it to my attention out of concern for me. I was slowly shutting down in all aspects of my life.
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I had always been an anxious child, but I was not diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder until I was 15.
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I was diagnosed bipolar type 2 in 2009, as well as PTSD, C-PTSD, panic disorder w/o agoraphobia, anxiety, and ADHD. I've also been fighting chronic migraines since 1999.
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My anxiety and problems handling stress started sometime during high school. I also have struggled with accepting and handling my emotions since I was fairly young.
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I think I always had the signs of an anxiety disorder, growing up with a lot of trauma. My father raised me on his own until I was eight, all while battling a drug addiction and mental illness.
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I had never considered that I might have an anxiety disorder until my most recent therapist decided to keep calling it that.
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I wouldn’t say life having epilepsy is a walk in the park, because every victim is affected in a different way. There are those who have small petite mal seizures, and then there are those who have grand mal seizures that are affected emotionally and physically, like myself.
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From shattering mirrored doors out of rage, to crying myself to sleep, mental illness controlled my life for many years. Fighting against my illness was a long, painful journey, but it has grown me to be a stronger person and has given me the ability to relate to so many people suffering with similar struggles.
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Experiencing OCD is like being stuck in a washing machine and not knowing how to end the cycle. You’ll keep doing the same thing over and over without knowing how to stop yourself from doing it. You might be wondering at this point, how is that possible? Just intend to end the task and stop your limbs from moving, right? Believe me when I say I wish it were so.
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