Maria A.

I was just entering my Freshman year of high school and I was homeschooled at the time (it was a brief four month stint. I won’t get into it). During that time, I became quite involved with theater and one of the plays we did involved being in a leotard on stage... In front of hundreds of people. Naturally, being fifteen years old, I wanted to look my best on stage when the show opened, so I started dieting.  Diets are a slippery slope though, especially when you are young and there is no real need for one or regulation through a doctor. My dieting prompted many years in therapy for an eating disorder, anxiety, and depression.

“...the eating disorder days were bleak, dull, and built around what I was going to eat when and how much weight I was losing. It was a dismal existence. ”

Without being too triggering to other readers, the eating disorder days were bleak, dull, and built around what I was going to eat when and how much weight I was losing. It was a dismal existence. But as the years went on, I began to truly recover from the eating disorder. However, my anxiety and depression took over the void that was there. I was hospitalized in July 2012 because of a panic attack. I would say this was the lowest moment in my battle with anxiety and depression. By the grace of God, I found a therapist about a week or so after that dreadful evening in the hospital who changed my life. Let me note that I had previously worked with many, many dietitians, therapists, psychiatrists, and school counselors to no avail, so finding this therapist felt like striking gold. She cared about me more than I had ever been cared about by a therapist before, and most importantly, she’d been in my shoes and she’d overcome the same things I eventually would. Once I began seeing her regularly, I was well on my way to appropriate recovery, and while there were ups and downs along the way, I can honestly say I’ve now overcome everything I’d been fighting for so many years. But even though I've gone through recovery, there are still low and anxious moments. The difference: I now have the tools I need to get through them.

“...finding this therapist felt like striking gold. She cared about me more than I had ever been cared about by a therapist before, and most importantly, she’d been in my shoes and she’d overcome the same things I eventually would.”

I had always been active. I mean, most people suffering from an eating disorder are to some extent. But throughout that time I never had the strength or stamina to work out for longer than 20 minutes. As my eating disorder started to dissipate, the anxiety and depression started creeping in. One day, I went for a run. The exhilaration of releasing that unwanted energy and finally having my racing thoughts match my racing body felt like an out of body experience. The rest is history. Running became my therapy and truly helped me with my recovery.

My advice to others going through the same thing as me would be: Run. Really. I've seen it work wonders in my life and in others'. Meditation also helps, too. And the biggest piece of my recovery was my faith and relationship with God. Without Him, I wouldn't be able to share my story of recovery. Finding something that brings this sort of emotion our in you is the key to taking care of yourself.

“ Running became my therapy and truly helped me with my recovery.

”

Running is one of my hobbies. I also write.  It's extremely cathartic. In fact, I've combined my love of running, writing, and mental health into a blog (www.runningmyselftogether.com).